I was home today working. Becca has been here on and of allday between appointments. She woke up this morning and had eggnog and a waffle . She knows Roman reasponds to sugar . Then she lays on the couch and watches him kick. She has been concerned that he is not moving as much. My sister Jen just went threw a misscarriage it was heart breaking and unnerving. I think that was looming in th eback of her mind. How a woman really is not in control of whats going on inside of her. You can eat well exercise and love with all that you have and still things can go wrong. So at about 5pm Becca said mom hes not moving enough I want to go to the hospital. I drove her there why she looked out the window into the darkening sky , brushing away the tears that fell. She said "Mom I will never forgive myself if something happens to my baby." That was a priceless moment for me. She is a mother. I had to tell her a most painful truth about parenting. We cant fix everything. If our desire wer enough all children would be strong healthy never fall of the monkey bars, or get teased at school.
The nurse placed the monitor around her and there he was strong and loud his heart was beating. She was releived and all smiles and I shed my usual tears.
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